


Just Like Any Other

by Shi_Toyu



Series: Shi's Tony Stark Bingo 2018 Fills [7]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Depressed Tony Stark, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) Feels, Light Angst, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Robot Feels, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Worried Jarvis (Iron Man movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 14:23:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15932270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_Toyu/pseuds/Shi_Toyu
Summary: It was incredible, honestly, how quickly they could come upon him. Even after all this time, Tony still felt like each one was a surprise. He could be going about his day, completely normal or even the rare good one, and then everything would change. For no explicable reason, his mood would plummet, his motivation would dry up, and his energy would peter off into nothing.





	Just Like Any Other

**Author's Note:**

> No beta on this one, so all the mistakes are my own. It also serves to fill my A3 free square for the Tony Stark Bingo.

It was incredible, honestly, how quickly they could come upon him. Even after all this time, Tony still felt like each one was a surprise. He could be going about his day, completely normal or even the rare good one, and then everything would change. For no explicable reason, his mood would plummet, his motivation would dry up, and his energy would peter off into nothing.

Sometimes he would wake up like that, with a listless feeling that kept him from even getting out of bed. More often, though, it would come upon him in those rare moments where he should have been relaxing. Save the world, revolutionize an industry, change the future. Tony’s life was constantly going full-tilt. He was constantly driven to do more and out-perform himself. There was SI and the Avengers and SHIELD, all demanding his attention and wanting things from him. Tony didn’t mind it, most of the time. He liked to feel needed. It was a lot, though.

For all that there was pressure from the people around him, Tony could admit that a great deal of it came from himself. Tony _needed_ to keep busy and keep producing, not only to make up for all of his past mistakes and failures, but because he was afraid of what would happen to him if he slowed down. Because when Tony slowed down, he sometimes had the tendency to just… stop.

He’d spent the entire day in the lab this time, churning out some improved code for SHIELD’s systems. It wasn’t easy work, but he’d gotten through it in time for dinner with the team. Steve had cooked, including his customary dessert. In true patriotic fashion, he’d served up a warm apple crumble with vanilla ice cream. The entire team had been laughing and socializing with each other. Tony had felt _good_. He’d been looking forward to getting to sleep at a decent hour and not having to be up terribly early in the morning. His entire past week had been full of meetings and he was more than ready for the break.

He had hung out with the team for a short while after dinner but didn’t stick around long. He was tired and couldn’t help but think his bed sounded pretty damn nice at the moment. It was a bit too early to go to sleep just yet, but he could skim through some of his emails to bide the time and then it was off to dreamland. He even had hopes of making it through the night without nightmares. It’d been a pretty normal day, just like any other, nothing triggering.

The heaviness had settled in on Tony slowly but surely as he sat in bed, tablet in hand. It wasn’t sadness, exactly, but it wasn’t quite apathy, either. A hollowness curled up tight in his chest, a lackluster sense of emotional exhaustion. He caught himself staring at the same spot of the screen for long moments, not really seeing anything at all. Tony knew that he should just open that next email, reply to that one he’d been meaning to reply to for two days now, but he just couldn’t get up the motivation to do it. His hand wouldn’t move to click on it.

He sat like that for what had to be at least half an hour, not getting anything done. He opened a handful of webpages but ended up closing them all without having even really looked at them. The little icon from the chat he had active with Harley blinked away with a new message, but Tony didn’t even want to look at it. If he looked at it, he knew he’d be drawn to reply and he just wasn’t sure he could handle that.

So, instead, he did nothing.

He sat and he stared at the screen until it turned dark in his lap and then he just kept on staring. Tony knew what was happening. He’d had enough depressive episodes by now to be able to recognize them. That didn’t mean he could do anything to stop it or turn it around. (That wasn’t quite true. Tony knew exactly what would push it to the side. All he had to do was dive into a project or go back down to join the others or just _do something_. It was honestly amazing how little any of that appealed, though.)

“Sir,” JARVIS spoke softly, just as experienced in recognizing the signs as Tony himself, if not more so, “may I suggest setting your tablet aside and attempting to get some rest?”

Sleeping was often a good way to reset Tony’s mood, and he _was_ exhausted, but he didn’t feel like he’d be able to sleep. It was like he had just enough energy to keep himself awake, but not enough to actually do anything. Still, after a long pause, he managed to get himself moving enough to place his tablet on the bedside table. He didn’t lie down, though. That just seemed like too much effort for him to undertake. JARVIS, the absolute gift, dimmed the lights in the room.

Eventually, Tony knew, he would manage to get up the energy to shuffle down the bed until he was in a horizontal position. It would take a while, though, and even then, sleep would be a long way off. He _would_ sleep tonight; it just wouldn’t be quick or restful. Hopefully it would be enough that he wasn’t dead on his feet tomorrow, though. The Parker kid was coming over and he always took a lot of energy to keep up with, not that Tony didn’t enjoy every second of it.

Tony didn’t want Peter finding out about this, though, for the same reasons he hadn’t told any of the team. They didn’t need to deal with his problems. It was fine. He would get over it. He’d manage.

And, in the meantime, Tony would just keep sitting in the dark, staring and waiting for the time when he could just be himself again. He’d had to make sure to add a couple extra things to the schedule next week, just to make sure this didn’t happen again. After all, if Tony didn’t slow down, he wouldn’t have to stop. Objects in motion tended to stay in motion, and all that. There was nothing to worry about.

Tony just had to get his momentum back.

Tomorrow.


End file.
